Impromptu Romance Review

LA Banks gravely ill

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:04:00 -0400

LA Banks, author of awesome paranormal romance, is gravely ill with late stage adrenal cancer. A fund has been set up to help with her medical expenses. Please help and donate.

Abby Wood: Free Book Week at Carina Press!

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 00:48:03 -0400

Abby Wood: Free Book Week at Carina Press!:

abbywoodauthor:

It’s FREE BOOK WEEK at Carina Press!!!
Starting on June 20th, every weekday, all week, Carina is offering a spectacular title for free download. And when they say free, they mean ACTUALLY free. Not “sorta free”, or “free with a $50 purchase” free, but actually, totally, no strings attached FREE!…

moirarogers: I love TVTropes with a love that should be...

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 23:48:49 -0400

moirarogers:

I love TVTropes with a love that should be outlawed in 53 states. That’s right. We need 3 more states to truly put into perspective the illicit illegality of my love.

TV Tropes is a time suck for certain.

shilohwalker: From at Syd Gill

Tue, 31 May 2011 22:49:37 -0400

shilohwalker:

From at Syd Gill

Today in "What the Fuck Is This Shit?"

Tue, 31 May 2011 16:39:58 -0400

Today in "What the Fuck Is This Shit?":

romanceclub:

A life coach tells the internet that romance novels are as addictive as pornography (with backup from Focus on the Family), and warns that women can become “dangerously unbalanced by these books entrancing but distorted marriages.”

She earns the righteous fury of Sarah over at SBTB.

Unleash your anger, Tumblr. Open season.

Recurring Theme on IRR

Tue, 31 May 2011 00:29:40 -0400

RomFail Live

Fri, 27 May 2011 23:38:00 -0400

RomFail Live:

Jane of Dear Author is tweeting #RomFail on this book.

[Siren LoveXtreme: Erotic Cowboy Paranormal Menage Romance, M/F/M/M/M/M/M/M, Longhorn shape-shifters, light bondage] After a traumatic and mysterious fall off a cliff, which results in amnesia, virginal twenty-one-year-old Scarlett Rose is saved by seven sexy cowboy brothers. Frightened and disoriented, her confusion peaks when she immediately feels an inexplicable, intense attraction to the beautiful strangers, including a doctor, a mysterious nightshift ranch hand, a set of triplets, and a set of twins! Scarlett’s reality receives another sucker punch when she discovers her heroes are actually Texas longhorn-shifter cowboys who claim she is their destined, life-long mate. The Lenox brothers have waited their entire lives to find the one woman they were born to share. Their newly discovered mate exceeds their wildest dreams. She’s gorgeous, witty, and her blood-red lips drive their bulls wild with passion. But this Texas yellow rose has thorns. She demands outside contact, but the men insist on protecting her from the mysterious person who hurt her. They decide the only way to get their stubborn mate to stay is if they make sure she never wants to leave. NOTE! You are purchasing Siren’s newest serialized imprint, the LoveXtreme Forever Series. This is Book 1 of 9 in the Scarlett Rose and the Seven Longhorns collection. These books are not stand alone. Each is a continuation of the previous book and must be read in the numbered order. Each book may end on a cliffhanger but usually with a happy-for-now for the heroine and one or more men. The final book contains a happily forever after for the heroine and all her men. ** A Siren Erotic Romance

SEVEN DICKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR Y’ALL.

Woooo hoooo! New galley!

Mon, 23 May 2011 11:09:00 -0400

Woooo hoooo! New galley!:

Woooo hooooo! Just got the galley for Charlotte Featherstone’s upcoming release, Seduction & Scandal. I have high hopes for this book, y’all. Ms. Featherstone wrote the delicious, decadent, sensual Lust, for HQ’s Spice line, which I adored, and I’m waiting to discuss w/Shelly and Katie. If you like historicals and you’re tired of just plain old boinking in books…and you want to savor a sensual tome, Featherstone’s Lust is definitely your book. I should probably stfu and give it a proper review, but it’s an A read for me. Featherstone is an autobuy for the Sins & Virtues series now.

Impromptu Review: The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross

Wed, 18 May 2011 22:51:00 -0400

Impromptu Review: The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross:

Katie: And here we are… once again… into the breach. This time it was Heather who picked the book. Obviously this resulted in a rather sharp decline in the amount of extraneous wang in the story.

Heather: Sorry about that.

Katie: No, really it’s a good change. I was getting tired of wondering where multiple cocks the size of baseball bats would fit into the heroine’s anatomy, aside from her logically equally cavernous vagoo.

Katie: Anyway, this week’s review is for a book called “Girl in the Steel Corset” by Kady Cross. This one is set in a Steampunk universe. Now, bear in mind. For myself, I have not read any Steampunk aside from High School when Jules Verne was shoved into my reading schedule between Great Expectation and The Stranger (The existential book, not the masturbation technique…pervs).

Heather: now, I’ve read more steampunk than Katie, but less YA. YA has to be pretty good YA for me to be into it. (See: The Goddess Test, which I thoroughly enjoyed.) This was somewhere in between Goddess Test and Switched for me, which is to say…meh.

Katie: A position I fully understand as YA tends to be filled with a lot of lego bricks for characters and be devoid of anything resembling meaningful situations or dialog. A whole lot of yearning and not a lot of action or good role models.

Heather: it’s the ‘pants’ phenomenon. The series shall be unnamed, but you all KNOW what I’m talking about. Now, while I am meh on the book, I’ll give Kady Cross points for giving Finley Jayne, the heroine, a brain and a personality.

Katie: However, I must take ten points from Gryffindor or whatever the hell house Kady is in for coming up with a ‘mystery plot’ which anyone who has seen the great mouse detective could see coming a mile away.

(All rights of this image belong to Disney and only Disney. We are making no money from this at all. Please please please leave us alone Disney.. oh god… they are in my HOUSE…. ++++No Carrier++++)

Katie: The similarity to the plot of the great mouse detective was so close I’m worried if this was a case of unintentional infringement. Which intentional or not, Disney, if they see this novel, will not care. Unless the main thread of the plot is older than the Great Mouse Detective itself.

Heather: yes. I have some insight on Disney, and they have no sense of humor when it comes to infringement, whether it’s intentional or not.

Katie: It’s highly likely the author never saw the Great Mouse Detective and therefore this is an entirely original plot they dreamed up. So for those who wish to read a YA Steampunk novel and haven’t seen this Disney movie, do not see it before reading.

Katie: now that we have given away the plot for those in the know… and utterly confused anyone without an encyclopedic knowledge of 80’s animated movies…

Heather: now, to the actual book, and we’ll try to keep it spoiler-free.

Heather: Finley Jayne is down on her luck. I liked the heroine. She was definitely NOT TSTL, thank goodness.

Heather: Infodumps. We haz them.

Heather: When we meet Finley, she’d gone through a string of jobs and she is attacked. She defends herself with more strength and speed than a girl her age and size

Katie: The heroine meets the main character by having him nearly run over her on a steampunk speeder bike, a rather auspicious beginning that intrigues you. Griffin King is one of those high class, very rich yet down to earth and willing to get his hands dirty heroes we all would love to sweep in and take us with them on a life of adventure full of steel, steam and sorcery.

Katie: While listing his qualities here might sound cheesy. The author goes to good lengths to show us this. His wealth is as secondary to the story as it is to Griffin himself. Damn useful to be a Rich Duke to get what you want but he is only shown using it when the sweat from his abilities can’t accomplish it.

Katie: This was a long way of saying… Good job Author Lady!

Katie: Sam, his bff for life, is shown as the big bruiser and muscle of the mysterious group our heroine finds herself in. He’s muscle, but he’s unsure of his abilities to keep up with the minds of his BFF and that of Emily, the Gearhead of their society.

Katie: Griffin, Sam, Emily and Griffin’s Aunt Cordelia, the psychic, make up a group working in secret to keep bad guys from using steam punk technology of their day from doing VERY BAD THINGS (TM)

Heather: now, there are a fair amount of subplots and such - but we aren’t going to get into them here, because we don’t want to spoil.

Also, there is a charismatic baddie.

No, not him.

He’s a Dandy of a baddie, actually.

He’d like to seduce Finley to the Dark Side, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Katie: The book opens in a bit of a confusing way. Not only do you have the “Learn the author’s Steampunk” universe hurdle, but you also are dropped right into the middle of a story where something very big has already happened to the secret society and you weren’t there for it. It made it very difficult for me to get into because I felt like I had walked into a party where I knew absolutely no one, and everyone knew everyone else and was talking about how awesome it was they escaped death last week.

Katie: Don’t get us wrong. This book is enjoyable, but it would have been much more enjoyable if it wasn’t handed to us as a Stand Alone. If I had read the prequel and was more familiar with the characters from the get go, I’d be chomping at the bit for the next book since this one ends on a honey of a cliffhanger.

Heather: now I have to say that I didn’t finish the book…cause I got walking pneumonia. No offense to Ms. Cross, but when I’m that sick, I crave funny, light reading, like Shelly Laurenston’s Dragon Kin series.

Katie: And you were lucky if you could finish remembering to eat, let alone the complexities of this plot.

Katie: So what do you say Heather? Solid B-? Fun subplots, good world building, good Characters with sense, (except when one of the men went Too Stupid to Live, but hey, not everyone is brilliant all the time). However, the sensation of being dropped into the middle of something already happening and resultant learning curve prevent it from rising higher?

Heather: that about sums it up. And don’t watch the Great Mouse Detective before you read it.

Preorder at Amazon – Barnes and Noble

I saw Thor w/my hubby. It was mantitte-tastic.

Fri, 13 May 2011 23:27:36 -0400

I saw Thor w/my hubby. It was mantitte-tastic.

Could this be the next trend in YA/paranormal romance?

Wed, 11 May 2011 19:42:23 -0400

Could this be the next trend in YA/paranormal romance?

Impromptu Review: Sabine...and the Beast, by Moira Rogers

Sat, 30 Apr 2011 16:13:45 -0400

Impromptu Review: Sabine...and the Beast, by Moira Rogers:

Sabine…and the Beast has a hot, hunky Scottish werewolf as the hero. Go buy the book.

What? You need to know more than that? All right, all right. The book begins with our hot Scot werewolf, Ciar, looking for his mate. He has finally come home from a war with the Lion shifters, having finally formed a peaceful alliance. Ciar expects Sabine to be waiting for him, but she is not there. Unbeknownst to him, his mother had a witch lay a curse on Sabine, because Ciar is High Lord, and Sabine is only a commoner. His mother wants a political alliance, not a love match. The curse was meant to make him forget her, but the spell backfired and anyone she touches forgets Sabine – even her own mother. When Ciar finds Sabine, he proposes that they confront his mother and the witch, but even the witch doesn’t remember her or the spell, so undoing the magic will be difficult.

Nevertheless, Ciar is determined to break the spell, and claim Sabine as his mate and High Lady, so they travel back to his home for a final confrontation. During the trip, they find ways to work around the ‘no touching’ problem the spell has created, and despite the short length of the story, there’s a good amount of plot (and steamy love scenes!) packed into its short length (unlike Ciar’s length…which is lengthier, if you know what I mean, and I think you do).

Sabine….and the Beast is a short story in a series, and I’m looking forward to reading the next one, Kisri, which will deal with the Lion shifters mentioned earlier. It is a solid B+.

Samhain – Kindle – Nook

Impromptu Review: Stone Kissed, by Keri Stevens

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 18:40:00 -0400

Impromptu Review: Stone Kissed, by Keri Stevens:

Stone Kissed is a nice departure from the usual paranormal fare of vamps, were, and other shapeshifters that are all over Romancelandia right now. Oh, I still love all those other groups, but I picked up the book because I was intrigued – witches really aren’t used enough in paranormals as of late, and I don’t understand why.

Even better, her take on the heroine doesn’t make her omnipotent, though her power is an interesting one. Delia can talk to carved stone, and the statues come to life when she is around. At the beginning of the novel, Delia is estranged from her father, and she gets word that their ancestral home has been burnt down, and that he is gravely injured. She runs home, and finds that his medical care is going to cost a pretty penny.

Enter our broody, hunky hero, Grant. He has a PAST that he won’t talk about, commitment issues, loads of cash and the hots for Delia. He offers to buy the family home and have Delia restore it. After some hesitation, she agrees, and since this is romance land, one thing leads to another, and by that I mean that P goes into V. There are complications, and a couple times I wanted to smack Grant and Delia for their commitment issues. LOL. Also, there is an epic awesome baddie who is just as interesting as Delia, who covets the family estate for her own reasons. I won’t spoil the how and why, but it was refreshing to see a villain who could hold her own as a character – often so many are just one-dimensional baddies.

All in all, I give Stone Kissed a solid B+, and I would definitely pick up another of Ms. Stevens novels.

Carina Press – Kindle – Nook – Kobo

Hey there, Tunnel Snake!: Zombie Moon - A fine introduction to the world of Mills & Boon.

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 11:18:00 -0400

Hey there, Tunnel Snake!: Zombie Moon - A fine introduction to the world of Mills & Boon.:

elizabethdeloria:

Inspired by a Something Awful thread about terrible romance novels, a few weeks ago I set out to my local KMart to browse the Mills & Boon section in the hope of finding a new treasure to post.

This was the day I found Zombie Moon.

Zombie Moon, the work of Lori Devati, is… a book with an…

I…I think I must acquire this title, just for the loltasticness. And to torture Katie. It shall be my revenge for Raine.

Impromptu Review: Raine, the Lords of Satyr by Elizabeth Amber

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 10:00:00 -0400

Impromptu Review: Raine, the Lords of Satyr by Elizabeth Amber:

Katie: Once more unto the breach oh dear fellow reviewers.. Oh once more! This time, this was a pick of mine. I was walking through Barnes and Nobel one day, perusing the Romance novel section and drifting into the Erotica. I was getting tired of my usual fare of shape shifting men and stories about time traveling Scottish druids. I wanted to switch things up. My eyes spied Rayne… Lords of Satyr. The cover intrigued me. It was bordello red with just a picture of a naked man on the cover. A rather tasteful artistic pose, the kind you’d have an ancient Greek sculptor try to recreate. Reading the Synopsis on the back I saw it was set in mid-nineteenth century Italy and featured Sexy satyrs who were guardians between this world and the world where all the magical Greek creatures existed. Eighteen years ago the king of this magical world took a jaunt into the human world and sired three daughters on three different women. It was the Lords of Satyr’s job to find these half fairy, half human women, assure them that their being different is normal and take them as their brides. I thought I always loved ancient Greek and roman mythology, and this seemed to be set in the late 1800’s so it had a historical romance feel. Given the summary on the back and the tastefully erotic picture on the front I thought I was going to be treated to an old school historical romance bodice ripper with a little twist of magic and a lot more bodices getting ripped. I was wrong. Within the first five pages I find out that Satyrs, once a month, need to fuck the living shit out of something using both of their penises.

Heather: yes. That’s right. BOTH Peens.

Katie: Heather… what is it with me and the two peen book?

Heather: you have a talent for duo p33ns I am betting when you get back from vaca you’ll have found the duo p33n from our TBR pile.

Katie: Apparently I do. After that shock I find out that these men aren’t just horny, they are super horny. However they have the ability to summon something called Shimmerskins which are akin to holodeck conjured people. They can fuck those over and over instead of the neighborhood needing to hide the kids, hide the wives and hide the husbands because they’ll be raping everybody.

Heather: after reading Raine, I am incredibly grateful for the shimmer skins.

Katie: OK. So these two penises are positioned so that one goes in her vagoo and the other into her anus. And apparently the one in the anus is ‘bone like” Not a boner… BONE LIKE.

Heather: this is my face:

Katie: She’s not green enough. So I continue reading hoping this would pick up and be better because, style wise, the author had excellent descriptive skills. If she was writing about something less… graphic, shall we say, it would be a hell of a read.

See… we aren’t TOTAL bitches, but it was like watching Sam Raimi direct that Super Mario Brothers Porn Parody.

Heather: we haven’t mentioned Jordan, the heroine yet.

Katie: Oh god… you… you do it Heather. I… I need PTSD treatment…

Heather: the fact that this is a triple p33n book and there’s only one hero?

Katie: Yes… that.

Heather: this is a spoiler, but it bears mentioning. The heroine is intersexed. If I had been informed via blurb that would have been better.

Katie: That was my face at that point.

Heather: It’s handled realistically, which is to say that the heroine is treated like a freak, and while she considers herself a woman, she claims male status so that she isn’t disinherited.

Katie: That, I think, is the most disconcerting thing about the whole thing. The author does not shy away from anything. At all. Not the graphic description of how the Doctor at her birth declared her a boy and struck a deal with her mother to be able to use her for his own political gain. What she endures, being put naked, splayed and on display for viewing, wearing a mask to conceal her identify. And the private ‘after’ party she’d forced to endure where the doctor invites perfect strangers to shove their entire hand up her ass to feel her uterus.

Heather: at which point I think I gagged.

Katie: Thank god she ran at that point. Of course, Raine recognizes her from the show, (he did attend at the behest of a Bishop who wants to shove his syphilis riddled bishop up Raine’s ass). What happens next? The pair proceed to quickly get it on.

Heather: Er, the hero and heroine, for clarification.

Katie: That, was likely, the most normal part of the whole book if you can forget the part about how the heroine uses ribbons to tie her penis to her belly.

Katie: I think that’s what disturbed me the most, how the author did not under any circumstances shy away from the realistically brutal side of the story. She pulled no punches about the consequences for actions. Well, except for Peen size.

Heather: Can we talk for a minute about Jordan’s anatomy and romance novels? Because this affected my read. Jordan is described as having “a small penis.” And then in another description, it’s given at about five inches. Five is pretty average size for a guy. Of course, in Romancelandia, every man is Ron Jeremy.

Katie: and in this case, the Satyr is SOOO huge human women need a special potion to be able to get horny and relaxed enough to take the Satyr during that time of the month where the second peen appears. Or is it third? Second peen on the man, anyway. And I can’t forget the brief mention of “The seeker”. The tail Satyrs have? It’s really secreting healing juices to make sure the woman can take them ALL night without bruising. I think that’s just the author’s way of explaining how these two can Fuck now, fuck again, fuck some more and then in the morning have some nookie without the girl walking funny.

Heather: but what about boredom?

Katie: Boredom?

Heather: I know it’s Romancelandia, but there comes a point where penis goes in vajaja gets old. Er, two penises…Er, three penises…

Katie: I thought only the internet was supposed to get you jaded and bored with sex?

Heather: it is a rule 34 kind of book.

Katie: No…this… this is a /b/ book. I read this thing, start… to finish. I told Heather about it, only because I didn’t want to be alone in my suffering. But I did give her fair warning.

Heather: there isn’t enough warning in the world for extra peen and stone sex.

Katie: Oh god… I forgot for a moment. How could I forget the Magic rape.

Heather: Magic and rape are not two words that should never go together.

Katie: Heroine was enchanted by Morpheus into wandering out into the garden and riding a stone peen.

Heather: that scene made my lady bits want to shut up and lock the door.

Katie: And… Apparently if you do that while dreaming and come, he makes you pregnant. So what does our Gallant Hero do? What is his logical solution? Make a magical potion like a morning after pill? Hold her while she cries? Nope. Wakes her up by shoving his own peen in her and summoning the magic to send her his viable baby batter in hopes his sperm will duke it out with the other dude’s sperm and win.

Heather: Only in Romancelandia can you get away with that and still be a hero.

Katie: Fellas… please. Your sperm doesn’t work that way. And don’t solve my sexual trauma with more boning.

Heather: but…more boning solves everything! Alternatively, watching you sleep solves everything too.

Katie: No… I will NOT read that series. You want to punish me for giving you Raine, make me read another in this series. Shall we sum up? Before I throw up?

Heather: I can’t do that to you. Yes, let’s sum up.

Katie: I think we can agree, if we make the Herculean effort to set aside the subject material and look at author skill alone, the woman has got it. She paints a vivid world (maybe too vivid at times), I never lacked for a mental picture, even when I didn’t want one. She has every skill needed for an excellent romance or Erotica author given her character development and her rich description.

Heather: I’ll agree to that, and if she was on a subject that I enjoyed and wasn’t squicked out by, I’d be into her writing, but this is just not my cuppa. There was just too much violence committed to the heroine for me to be able to relax and enjoy the hot nookie scenes.

Katie: So… shall we do a rare… Author skill B+ to A-, but the book itself, given the deceptive back of book description and the subject material, we are awarding this book no points… and may god have mercy on our souls.

Heather: And also, brain bleach.

Katie: I think I’m gonna need a whole lotta serious therapy.

Sony Pocket eReader on sale at Best Buy!

Sun, 24 Apr 2011 06:28:40 -0400

Sony Pocket eReader on sale at Best Buy!:

Sony - Reader Pocket Edition Digital Book - Silver
Model: PRS350SC | SKU: 1238478

Original Price: $139.99
You Save: $20.00
Our Price:$119.99

If you’re in the market for a cheap e-ink reader and you don’t mind the lack of wi-fi, the Sony Reader Pocket Edition is on sale this week at Best Buy! The plus to the Sony Reader is that it supports ePub files, which as of now, hasn’t happened yet on Kindle. (Amazon, can we talk? I’d probably buy a Kindle IF I could read all my ePubs on it. You have a very enthusiastic evangelist in Katie.)

I haven’t purchased an e-ink reader yet - I’m waiting for the Nook e-ink to go on sale again, so that I can sync files across it and my Nook Color.

To Be Read/Reviewed

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 22:04:30 -0400

The To-Be Read Pile is EPIC, y’all.

Forever Vampire, Michele Hauf

Sabine…and the Beast, Moira Rogers (totally psyched about this one. Hot Scot werewolf? Where can I get one of my own??)

Blood of the Maple, Dana Marie Bell (dryads and vampires, oh my!)

A Borrowed Scot, Karen Ranney (in progress!)

The Girl in the Steel Corset, Kady Cross

Silver Bound, Ella Drake

Finished, to Be Reviewed, soon!

Stone Kissed, Keri Stevens (t’was good, would like to do a tag team w/Katie on it)

The Twisted Tale of Stormy Gale, Christine Bell (let me tell you, this story was short, sweet and so good that I turned around and bought Naughty Godmother by her alter ego Chloe Cole. OMG.

Also, in a semi-related note, I am so totally pumped for the steampunk-a-palooza at Carina Press. Both the steampunk titles I’ve read from Carina were awesome and I am looking forward to trying some more. Y’all take the nook shop browser away from my hands until I get the backlist done though, all right?

Impromptu Review: Falke's Peak by Anna Leigh Keaton and Madison Layle

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 00:09:00 -0400

Impromptu Review: Falke's Peak by Anna Leigh Keaton and Madison Layle:

Katie: Fawkes Peak.. Or should we say twin peaks…is a novel written by Anna Leigh Keaton and Madison Layle. This is a short novella that looked like it was the right length to be part of an anthology but is offered as a separate item to purchase. It’s about, as the novel is suggesting, Snow, Pumas, two men and one woman. What the cover doesn’t mention is that the Cougar is one of the men. Yes, this is another in a plethora of were stories featuring men that have a big secret of being a large predatory animal. Why there aren’t any novels of men turning into fluffy bunnies which have a notorious sex drive or pigs which have climaxes that last half an hour, I have no idea.

Heather: watch what you wish for. I saw an ad for a Changeling book that had a bunny.

Katie: Oh sweet baby Jesus… Rule 34!!

Heather: http://changelingpress.com/product.php?&upt=book&ubid=1574

Katie: Is this like the romance novel porn version of that movie Hop?

Heather: Even better. It’s a Godfather parody.

Katie: So… Watership down… with porn. Got it.

Heather: Somehow I can’t picture Al Pacino as a bunny

Katie: And now….I am going to get some brain bleach. ANYWAY… back to the topic…The story, without giving anything away, is about an overstressed ad executive from Las Vegas coming to the resort town of Leavenworth for a ‘Girls Getaway’ to find she’s actually the third wheel when one of the girls drops out and the other brings her fiancé.

So she decides to have her destressing trip by heading off into the woods on a hiking trip with a Guy who is as sexy as hell and his pet cat… full grown cougar mountain lion. In the book you discover quickly that the men are “More than meets the eye.”

No…. not that. They are Catamounts - were men that change from man to giant mountain cat. Since this is a short novella, they need to get to the porn fast so she’s naked and having one of them ride her in the kitchen within 24 hours of them reaching the cabin and 48 of meeting. Sans condom. But not to worry. You can’t get pregnant unless you have both men inside you coming at the same time.

Yes. This is a novel where a chick gets two men at the same time. Which is normally sexy as hell for this reviewer… except the men are brothers.

In all seriousness, I can’t poke too much fun at the plot because this is really a novel designed to be ‘fun sexy romp’ where you don’t have to wait too long before being treated to hot steamy nookie. Within those parameters, the novel does actually accomplish that if two men at once, weres is your cup of steaming lust. If you can put “the men are related and seeing each other’s O face’ under the nice fuzzy blanket of suspension of disbelief it can be a fun read. My only real valid complaint is that I live in Washington state and have been to Leavenworth. It is a really cute Bavarian-style town nestled in the middle of the Washington mountains. The locals turned themselves into this tourist attraction when the logging and railroad industry started to wane. It’s a very lovely getaway place from Seattle.

Heather: this wasn’t an issue for me because as a Florida girl, I’m clueless about what it looks like, other than Washington is generally pretty. And cold.

Katie: It deserved more than a sentence describing the gingerbread like houses of the town. The author had done such a good job describing the situation the heroine found herself in as the third wheel I was looking forward to having a bit of the town described enough to trigger my memory of it as well as paint a picture for anyone reading it. However it’s described as a generic resort mountain town. There was more than one place this lack of world painting occurred.

Heather: However, I am disappointed by the lack of barbed peen.

Katie: Oh come on! You know you dream of barbed penis!

Heather: so far, only if Lora Leigh is writing it.

Katie: Whether this is due to needing to confine themselves to a certain word count that caused choppy editing or if this due to a lack of knowledge of the town. Or perhaps it was an author decision due to trying to convey the idea of a Bavarian style resort town in the middle of the Washington state. Either way, It was a bit disappointing to see good description some places and lack of it in others.

Heather: and I did like that the heroine had a backbone and was not afraid to ask for what she wanted in bed, and also that she wasn’t afraid to take time to consider whether she really wanted a ménage.

Katie: And at the end of the novel the heroine showed she was still able to rub two brain cells together even if the men made her bowlegged and went back to Vegas, because, realistically it was a whirlwind four day romantic affair. There isn’t a person I know that, no matter how good the sex was, would I give up the life I spent years building after a few good orgasms. The heroine wisely took the time to distance herself to see if this was a fling or if this was something more. Probably it was the lack of barbed penis that made her decide they were keepers.

Heather: all in all, I’d give another of their titles a try, probably in a longer format.

Katie: and it’s either one man or two men that aren’t related.

Heather: Yeah, that too, mostly because I don’t want my hubby flailing when I read passage aloud.

Katie: Seriously, when I thought about it I thought about sharing a hottie with my brother, and as soon as the idea of seeing my brother’s O face entered the picture, I never wanted to have sex again… ever.

Heather: “Tight, damp pussy” scarred him.

Katie: More than Glorious Glistening Manboobs?

Heather: No, that one scarred my son.

Katie: Well… what else is parenting for but to give your child something to talk to thier shrink about.

Heather: Exactly. My work here is finished.

Katie: Don’t you mean, “You’re spent?”

Heather: considering our topic…yes.

Katie: Overall, I say this is a B- to Solid B. Stepping away from this reviewer’s preferences, it did have steamy sex scenes, realistic character reactions that show a woman of sense and character. However, because of the choppy description issue, we cannot give it a higher grade.

Buy at: Carina Press - Kindle - Nook

Impromptu Romance Review: The Goddess Test, by Aimee Carter I...

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 19:42:00 -0400

Impromptu Romance Review: The Goddess Test, by Aimee Carter

I have a soft spot for Hades/Persephone stories. While The Goddess Test is not a conventional Hades/Persephone story, (and I can’t explain that more without spoilers), it is absolutely wonderful. Seriously, I read it start to end in one reading.

The Goddess Test is the story of Kate, an 18-year-old who has spent most of her young life caring for her mother, who has cancer. Her mom’s dying wish is to go home to the town where she was born, Eden, Michigan. There she meets a mean girl, who decides to pull a prank. When the prank goes wrong, Henry helps Kate out, but at a price. When the time comes, Kate is skeptical, but in time she accepts his challenge, though it may cost her life.

I am not a huge YA reader, but even if you don’t like YA, this is a great book. Carter doesn’t spend it dwelling on high school mundane crap, nor does she waste her high school scenes. While you’re reading them, you don’t realize how much she’s setting up, and the payoff at the end of the book is totally worth it.

The Goddess Test gets an A+, and I definitely ordering a copy to keep when it releases on April 26^th.

Preorder for Kindle or Nook

elladrake: Jaq’s bio-tech beans. Want some?

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 10:47:28 -0400

elladrake:

Jaq’s bio-tech beans. Want some?